Jeez.
Usually I don't like to talk about how songs hit me. It's hard to explain why. I don't like to gush, I suppose. I feel like my words are cheapening what I feel. That must be a common worry--that there's no way we can possibly describe our emotions without coming off as cliche' or something.
But screw it, I've just listened to one of my favorite Cowboy Mouth songs, "New Orleans." It's about a girl who cheats on a guy. Old news, right? Near the end of the song, Fred Leblanc sings:
But sometimes when she sleeps, she turns and she whispers his name.
This line always just breaks me. I can feel something rising up my throat, and my head even aches a little. My stomach churns, and there are little sharp sensations all over me, like I'm being cut.
I have never been cheated on, but the idea of losing trust in someone forever is such a nightmare situation for me. That type of betrayal is something I've never experienced. The unknown can be really scary, I guess, because that one little line never softens. The image just hits me--A guy lying in bed restlessly, and he hears a stranger's name over and over, every night, until he finally has to end it. Must be torture.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Must I write?
There was an article that my Senior English class was required to read. I loved it. Most of the class hated it. They found it snobby and elitist. Let me explain.
It was about what makes art, and that liking something doesn't automatically make something good--especially in the eyes of experienced critics. Writing from the heart is a nice idea, but the truth is that more goes into it than heart. It takes work, thought, and so much cutting and cleaning up. By the time it's finished, the author has poured more than just their soul into it. What they've revealed is their character, their patience. It's not easy, just like any other art. And when you think about really raw, "passionate" writing, it makes sense--all the gratuitous adjectives, the unbearable level of drama. Making it something that people can relate to is a greater challenge than clumsily spilling your guts onto paper. But it's comforting to think that it's possible, I suppose, to have a masterpiece in hours instead of months or years.
The part of the article that keeps me from quitting every time writing gets hard was an aside. He wanted the reader to know that he wasn't saying that heart and passion weren't important. If someone is unsure about whether or not they are supposed to write, he or she need only ask one question: "Must I write?" If your life would seem empty without it, then yes, you must. You're "supposed" to. If you care that much, then you're likely to have the patience to do the cleaning--the stuff that's probably less fun. And you'll probably be willing to kill off and cut away parts of your baby for the sake of a cleaner story.
I cannot and will not give up.
It was about what makes art, and that liking something doesn't automatically make something good--especially in the eyes of experienced critics. Writing from the heart is a nice idea, but the truth is that more goes into it than heart. It takes work, thought, and so much cutting and cleaning up. By the time it's finished, the author has poured more than just their soul into it. What they've revealed is their character, their patience. It's not easy, just like any other art. And when you think about really raw, "passionate" writing, it makes sense--all the gratuitous adjectives, the unbearable level of drama. Making it something that people can relate to is a greater challenge than clumsily spilling your guts onto paper. But it's comforting to think that it's possible, I suppose, to have a masterpiece in hours instead of months or years.
The part of the article that keeps me from quitting every time writing gets hard was an aside. He wanted the reader to know that he wasn't saying that heart and passion weren't important. If someone is unsure about whether or not they are supposed to write, he or she need only ask one question: "Must I write?" If your life would seem empty without it, then yes, you must. You're "supposed" to. If you care that much, then you're likely to have the patience to do the cleaning--the stuff that's probably less fun. And you'll probably be willing to kill off and cut away parts of your baby for the sake of a cleaner story.
I cannot and will not give up.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Post Secret
Something's been eating at me. I wish I could say it here, but I don't want anyone to know--anyone. So I'm sending it in to Post Secrets. I might even find a book at B+N and stick one in there too. This is something that I never thought I would do. There was never anything so secret that I couldn't turn to at least one person.
It's kind of cool to have a secret, but I can't wait to tell someone.
It's kind of cool to have a secret, but I can't wait to tell someone.
Monday, November 16, 2009
An unfortunate weakness
Novel writing month disheartens me. I can't write quickly for one reason: I'm good at describing, I'm good at developing characters, and I'm good at creating a vivid setting. What can't I do? Advance the damn plot.
I've begun writing a simple adventure story that comes from an old dream I wrote down. There's not much to it but the story. Therefore I won't have much else to focus on. It's about knights and the kinds of adventures they have. So of course, we've got a bunch of brave, bold people trotting around on horses. Sure, it might become something better than that. But if not, at least I'll have gotten closer to moving the action along instead of just describing people and things and writing tons of dialogue.
My goal is to break myself of the habit of focusing on those perfect little pockets of a story that I spend so much time developing and think about what I want to say and what I want my characters to do. I really don't want my schedule to make my writing any more stale than it is.
I've begun writing a simple adventure story that comes from an old dream I wrote down. There's not much to it but the story. Therefore I won't have much else to focus on. It's about knights and the kinds of adventures they have. So of course, we've got a bunch of brave, bold people trotting around on horses. Sure, it might become something better than that. But if not, at least I'll have gotten closer to moving the action along instead of just describing people and things and writing tons of dialogue.
My goal is to break myself of the habit of focusing on those perfect little pockets of a story that I spend so much time developing and think about what I want to say and what I want my characters to do. I really don't want my schedule to make my writing any more stale than it is.
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