Strange power

When you're in the Actors' Guild, or whatever it's called, you cannot have the same name as someone else. There has to be some difference. If there are two Jake Smiths, one of you has to go by "Jacob Smith" or "Jake E. Smith" or "Jake Smith III" in the credits.

I guess that's why a lot of celebrities have a middle initial. The only other reason I can think of is because they want to see if people will actually take the trouble to say it. It's annoying to say "Samuel L. Jackson," but I do, because he's such a badass in his movies that I'm scared he'll somehow know when I say it wrong. Then he'll come to my house and yell at me. John C. McGinley? I say John McGinley, because the worst thing that happens there is that he rattles off about Hugh Jackman and calls me girls' names. And that's fine, because I'm a girl.

But don't they have a strange power? Their issues become our issues. Their fashion opinions become ours. And we say clumsy-sounding things like "Samuel L" even though it's kind of a pain to stick those two l's together. I suppose it varies. I can't think of anyone Bjork fans who own a swan dress.